It's later then you think

For the last three years, it feels like time is standing still. It doesn't feel real. I don't feel real. And I'm not sure why. And it seems like the more I think about it, the deeper inside my head I go, the more confused I get. Somewhere along the line I realized that it wasn't time standing still, it was me; I just haven't figured out what to do about it yet.

I'm not a lazy, spoiled brat. I know some people think that I am, but I'm not. And who are they to judge anyway? I know most of them have good intentions, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions. And that's where I feel like I am. The point is, there are things I should have done and didn't, things I shouldn't have done and did, but those are my mistakes, and I'm allowed to make them. This is frustrating, it's like I can't say what I really mean. Maybe the point is, unless you've been through everything I have, then you really don't understand. And if you don't understand, then don't pretend that you do by telling me what's right and what's wrong. I'll figure that out on my own.